This is not my ceiling
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize
