don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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