Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Randomize
