I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
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