She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
