just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
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