She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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