At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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