i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
i came on her dog
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
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