i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
