he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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