I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
