Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
