Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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