Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Randomize
