YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Randomize
