Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
