what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Randomize
