you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
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