i jhust puked up my retainher.
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Randomize
