Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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