Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
You smell like stripper and shame
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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