she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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