I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Randomize
