Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
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