If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
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