he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Randomize
