I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
