I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Randomize
