yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
