Cold hands, warm shart.
You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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