im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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