too bad you live with your parents still
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
