I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Randomize
