areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
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