I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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