apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Randomize
