1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
