I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
