so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
