dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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