Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Everything about him screamed your future.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
