The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Randomize
