I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Randomize
