Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
We need to rekindle our bromance
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
