You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Randomize
