How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
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