How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
