Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(916): View more from California

OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning

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(408): View more from California

I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?

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(405): View more from Oklahoma

He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.

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(218): View more from Minnesota

Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.

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(573): View more from Missouri

Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.

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(952): View more from Minnesota

nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...

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(304): View more from West Virginia

My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand

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(316): View more from Kansas

Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..

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