and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
