i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Randomize
